The past 3 weeks have been a whirlwind!  Ironicaly, a lot of it centered around contracts.  A large part of what a wedding planner does actually revolves around these dry pieces of paper that no one wants to read, but turn out to be SO crucial to their big day.  I had many questions come up from proposals and contracts my brides sent me in the past weeks.  For example, what if you and your photographer just can’t get along?  How much is it truly going to cost you to cancel now, before the big day, and hire a new one?  Before you sign your venue’s contract, how liable are you if your guests do not fill your room quote?  Because of that and my insatiable need for education on anything wedding related, I signed up for a local seminar hosted by MPI titled “Hotel Contract Boot Camp”. 

The topic was presented by a very prestigious event laywer, John S. Foster, Esq., CHME. John was an impressive speaker and while the topic can tend to be dry, he carried it well and I learned invaluable information.  Of course it was kind of funny to find that I was the only wedding planner in a room full of hotel sales directors and corporate event planners.  I think those who knew I was there found it funny as well.  (I’m definitely going to address this with my organizations to see if we can have another seminar for other wedding planners as I really feel they would all benefit from this information.)

Out of the numerous topics we covered, one of the most applicable I felt to any event and venue (not just hotels) was the Force Majeure clause of contracts.  (Also known as the Act of God clause)  Ladies, while this little paragraph can seem like nothing important, it can actually mean quite a bit to your wedding day.  Before this class, I felt this clause covered the facility more than the bride, but now understand this clause really and truly protects the bride.  For example, if you are careful enough to cover hurricanes here and you are having a beach wedding, it could mean the difference between cancelling your wedding and paying their full fees to simply rescheduling or cancelling with no penalty.  Or what if, God forbid, there were a terrorist attack again and commercial travel is restricted?  Do you still have to pay for all those guest rooms in your hotel contract even though your guests simply can’t come?  You might have to, better to check that clause before signing.

As with any contract, you should ALWAYS read everything and fully understand the terms before signing.  Your wedding planner should always be able to assist in navigating contract terms and making sure your terms are what you need for your event before signing.  As John said, if you try to change the terms before signing, it’s called negotiating.  If you try to change the terms after signing, it’s called BEGGING.  Which side do you want to be on?

Many times I ask my brides if they would like a recommendation for a hair & makeup artist, and this is the question I get in return.  Yes, I know you can do your own hair & makeup.  Yes, your girls can do theirs too.  My reason for recommending an artist is not because I feel like you are deficient in being able to take care of this yourself.

On your wedding day, it will probably be the only day you will have your own personal papparazzi follow you everywhere you go.  (Unless you’re a big movie star or someone else who attracts that crazy attention.)  Because of this, you will have more pictures taken of yourself than any other day in your life.  With this in mind, you obviously want to look your best in all those moments.  To look best on camera means a different level of makeup and hair artistry. 

Not only does your hair have to look good when your done, but it has to maintain that look through the entire day, usually at least 8 hours.  This means while you can certainly use a huge can of hair spray, you may not want it to be completely crusty and shiny.  A hair stylist will know how to create and maintain a look for you without all that crusty hair spray and make sure it will last throughout the day, whether you are planning on being outdoors or in. 

Same goes for your makeup.  Will the brand of makeup you are using create that flawless look and not need to be constantly touched up throughout the day?  Do you know how dark to put on your eyeliner so it will look great under the camera?  How will you know until you get back your pictures of the day?

The other reason I recommend a hair & makeup artist is to REDUCE stress.  It can be frustrating for any woman when their hair won’t do exactly what they want.  But what if it doesn’t react the way you like on your big day?  This just helps take the pressure off as you know the professional you hired can make your hair do what you want and you don’t have to worry.  Having a professional there for your bridesmaids can also take the pressure off of worrying if everyone will be ready on time.  A professional will have a schedule for all of this and can budget time appropriately.  It takes stress off mom’s shoulders too. 

While you are completely capable of handling this yourself, hiring a hair & makeup artist just has so many pros to it, that I always recommend one to my brides.  Of course it is their option whether to hire one, but I can say from experience that I’ve never had one regret hiring a professional to help with their big day.

As of September 1st, the state portion of your marriage license fee in Texas will double, from $30 to $60.  However, to encourage health marriages, the state legislature will allow you to skip on this fee if you take a marriage prep course either provided by the state, or through your church.  (You’ll still have to pay the county portion, usually around $11.)  The course must be at least an eight hour program providing help with connumication, conflict resolution and the benefits of marriage.   For more information, check with your county clerk’s office.

Many times I’ve received a call from a bride who is looking for someone to help her with “day of”.  When I ask the bride what her major concerns are, often she is really just looking for someone to do the decorating that she has planned, so that she and her family can relax on the big day.  Because of this, I find more and more that brides often assume the role of a wedding planner is simply a decorator.  While this may be true for some, it is not true of all.  This is why I try to clarify exactly what a bride needs and what my role in helping her truly is.

 While I can certainly help add the embellishments that you’ve planned, such as setting out place cards, adding twinkle lights, and sprinkling rose petals, this is not my main function.  My main role is to help plan out all the details, coordinate with your vendors and to make sure everything comes off flawlessly the day of your wedding.  Many times, your vendors, such as florists or rental staff actually do most of the “decorating”, such as tying chair sashes or adding floral to the gazebo.  Every vendor is different, which is why I encourage brides to clarify with their vendors exactly what it is they are helping with on the big day. 

The flip side is to understand what responsiblities your vendors are not handling for you and why it is beneficial to have a wedding planner with you through the process and on the big day.  For example, will the decorating company you hired provide an accurate and to-scale floor plan?  I recently worked with a decorator who did provide a floor plan, but it was not an accurate representation of what would be set up that day.  This became a problem because on the big day, it became apparent that what the decorator thought was ample spacing between tables was not what we originally envisioned.  Now as a bride, you hire vendors that you trust to know their job, but unfortunately, there are vendors whose opinions vary and their vision may not be exactly what the bride wanted.  

 As your wedding planner, it’s my job to make sure all the vendors are on the same page as the bride, so to speak, and to get accurate representations of what they are delivering. This is why the earlier in the process you hire a wedding planner to represent you and begin working with the vendors, the easier it will be for the planner to make sure your wishes are carried out.  Unfortunately, my bride had only hired me for “day of” and I was unable to prevent this problem.  (Another reason why many wedding planners will not offer “day of” services, they get stuck with vendors not of their choosing and are stuck with the consequences.)  While I continue to offer my Classic services, I offer up this example to show why hiring a wedding planner for more than “day of decorating” is so key to the wedding planning process.

As I tend to work quite a few non-traditional weddings, I often get asked what can guys wear that’s a little different from the standard black tuxedo?  Well, first, there is no longer JUST the standard black tuxedo.  Most tux shops carry complete lines of black, pinstripe, white and even gray tuxedos.  Some of the cool new options though include a brown tuxedo, or even just tuxedo coats of navy to ivory and every color in between.  For a fun website that shows some of these options, check out www.aftersix.com.  They have some great lines of tuxedos, coats and suits that will fit any formal affiar, but have that twist of something different.

The biggest task in planning a wedding is usually finding your venue.  Not only is it the biggest item you’ll spend money on, it completely sets the tone and style for your wedding.  Thus, it takes lots of googling, viewing websites and pictures, emails and phone calls, and then takes up every weekend until you find the perfect one. 

The hardest part of this process seems to be the comparing.  Most want to just compare the venues offerings dollar-for-dollar.  Now, while I understand trying to compare venues to get a good deal, let me first say PLEASE don’t forget to recognize the special features and services each venue offers to you.  Of course price will play a role in the venues you choose, but try to remember that the venue’s worth is not just in the dollar amount you have to pay, but also how much it offers you to make your wedding vision come true.

When comparing pricing between venues, this usually means looking at what each will cost you per person.  (Not the minimum amount required, which is NOT the amount you will end up paying)  In other words, place A will cost you $X per person and place B will cost you $Y per person.  The problem is, place A and B are offering a package deal, so you have to compare what is in each of their packages.  This is where the apples and oranges come in.  Each package can be (and most likely will be) totally different.  One place may include the ceremony and reception spaces, valet parking, sound system, chairs, tables, linens, etc, and the other may not include half that stuff.  Why is it so hard you say?  Simply because venues are trying to offer you everything you want in their packages, not what you need, so that they can make the biggest bang for their buck.  They tell you it is to make it easier, which of course it is, but they don’t really give you any way to determine if their pricing is fair.  (This is of course where a wedding planner comes in very handy.)

If you’re stuck trying to juggle all of this and need to compare places based on price, the best way to handle it is to come up with what you want, not what the package offers.  For example, you want their ceremony space for a half hour, the reception space for 4 hours, no valet parking, bridal suite, champagne toast but no bar, butler passed canapes and the roast beef dinner.  Give this to the coordinator at each space and ask them to come up with a custom package for you based on this.  If you prefer to negotiate, take their package and see what items you can exchange to “customize” the package for yourself.  Do this with each venue coordinator, and you’ll get something much closer to comparing apples and apples.  This will help you narrow down what is the true price you are paying and what you really want for your wedding day.

What’s the difference between the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to DJs?  Here are some examples:

1.  They don’t have the equipment requested.  This past week I requested a lavalier microphone for the officiant to wear during the ceremony on Saturday.  This did not make it onto the DJ’s truck, thus the minister had to use a hand held mic for the ceremony.  Not convenient when he has a bible, rings and the couple’s hand to juggle while doing this.  Especially not good if he hasn’t practiced this and the vows keep getting cut off as he moves the mic from himself to the bride or groom to quickly.  Even worse, the officiant decided to put on his own comedy routine to entertain those guests remaining seated while waiting for the receiving line to go down.  We took the microphone away.  Some people just can’t handle their microphone. :)  A good DJ will bring the equipment you asked for.  A great DJ would have double checked to make sure your request was taken care of, had a backup or had someone bring him said equipment if he didn’t have it there.

 2.  The songs you requested are not being played.  Too often an unprofessional DJ does not have the genre or the specific songs you requested, but what’s worse is he doesn’t read your song list until 2 days before the wedding.  He then calls and tells you to burn a cd of this, which would have been fine 2 months ago when you had time, but now you only have 36 hours and between picking up tuxedos and family, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, etc, you don’t quite have the time to spend 2 hours doing this.   A good DJ will have checked the song list immediately upon receiving it and make sure he has on hand what you need.  A great DJ will either have the songs already, or will obtain them on their own (legally), with no questions, no extra fees and no hassle.

3.  He skips the details you worked into your agenda, like the blessing you asked Uncle Phil to give before serving dinner.  Even though this may be written down directly in front of the DJ, they skip it because it’s not their “usual” and they simply aren’t paying attention to the written instructions.  A good DJ will be checking the agenda all evening, making sure to not skip any of the personal details you added to the evening.  A great DJ would have double checked the agenda with you before hand, making sure to understand all the nuances of your agenda and even making suggestions on personal touches you can add to your evening.

When interviewing a DJ, ask how they keep their library current.  Ask what they’ll do if they do not have a song on your request list.  Look at their paperwork and see if it allows you to customize your evening by adding personal touches, or if it just allows you to number things in the order they are to happen.  Find out from their references if there were any “little” mistakes at their wedding, and look at them with a microscope.  While these are little mistakes, it might be something this DJ has a habit of doing and you do not want it repeated at your wedding.  All of these questions will reveal whether the DJ you are looking at is one of the good, bad or the very ugly.

The number one question I get from the key person who is paying for the wedding is:  “Will you save me money?”  (Yes, it is usually either dad or the groom.)  The answer is whole-heartedly YES!  How do I do it?  Here are the big three ways:

 1.  Negotiation - One of the largest portions of my education is simply knowing what products and services are out there, who the best vendors are and how to negotiate with them.  I will absolutely save you money by making sure that you are not only getting what you want, but you are getting it for a fair price.  We will negotiate for exactly what you want and get it for the best deal possible (taking quality into account of course). 

2.  Prevent overspending - I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen brides come in my door (that have not hired me yet) with a contract for something they paid an outrageous price for because they simply did not know what to expect.  Or, they have overspent on a category that is going to cost them something else they truly wanted.  If you hire me at the beginning, I can help you outline that budget and stick to it!  The only reason you will overspend while working with me is if you have not consulted me or did not take my advice.   We will prioritize the items you are spending your hard-earned money on so you do not leave out that one crucial item (like a horse carriage) because you did not know how much it was going to cost or how to plan for it.

3.  Saving you time - We all know that time is money.  (If you don’t know this, then you just don’t realize how much your own personal time is worth.)  In working with me (or any wedding planner worth her salt), you get to cut out all that time you would spend on comparing prices and services, interviewing vendors, searching for the perfect place, making to-do lists and simply just stressing about if you forgot something for the big day.  Trust me, this can be (and usually is) a full time job.  If you are already working, going to school or are a stay-at-home mom, do you really want a second full-time gig?

1.  Hire a wedding planner and find your venue
If you would like a wedding planner to help you from A to Z, this is obviously the first vendor you’ll find.  Immediately after, you’ll start looking at venue choices.  (If you are not hiring a planner for the entire process, add planner to step 2.)  Your venue is probably the biggest determining factor when deciding on a wedding date.  Plus, it sets the style and tone of your wedding, so it helps to determine what vendors you’ll need.  Venues also have preferred vendors they work with, so you have the opportunity to see who has worked well there before.

2.  Hire those who only work one wedding a day.
The photographer, videographer, officiant, entertainment and specialty transporation (like a horse carriage) usually fall within this category.  Those who only work one wedding a day book fast, so you’ll need to go ahead and place a deposit to make sure you reserve those you truly want to help with your special day.  If you have not hired a wedding planner yet, they also fall into this category.

3.  Work from the biggest budget item down.
Your top budget item will be the food and beverages.  If this is not included with your venue, you’ll need to start shopping for an outside caterer.  The next vendor will depend upon your priorities, but here’s a common order I follow:  florist, rentals (including linens), transportation (such as a limo), bakery (for your cake or other dessert choice).  The reason I do this is to help prevent overspending.  If your love florals and are willing to sacrifice your limo, this is the way to go.  If your cake is first priority, move it up on the list, etc.

Vegas was most wonderful!  I had so much fun with the hubby checking out the Strip and seeing tons of shows.  Our absolute fave was The Blue Man Group, which I HIGHLY recommend to anyone.  I had no idea it would be 3 solid of hours of laughing and being amazed.  What fun!

The thing you cannot avoid in Vegas is the huge amount of walking you must do to get anywhere.  I mean, seriously folks, these casinos are huge and if you want to explore even one of them, you’re going to walk for a while.  I had been told and I did wear comfortable shoes…most of the time.  Twice I wanted to dress up and look cute and wear the cute shoes, but I soon learned that was a VERY stupid mistake.  I would take a picture and show you, but that’s just gross, so just believe me when I tell you that I ended up with at least 4 bandages on each foot due to blisters and sores caused by my “pretty” shoes.  Never again!  I quickly learned the trick of wearing comfortable shoes til I got where I wanted to go, and quickly switching to the pretty pair once I was there.  (Yes, a medium to large purse is required for this.) 

Shoes are always a great topic though, and what do I find when I get back?  Nearly Wed has posted about some wonderful places she found in her search for the perfect wedding shoe.  I get asked all the time where to shop and I just adore the list she came up with.  Some of my faves she listed are Bluefly, J. Crew and I now love Stu. 

I found this beauty on the Bluefly site.  As Carrie Bradshaw would say, “Hello, lover.”  I bet they would hurt though…