There are so many wedding magazines out there.  Each has it’s own style and I have found that some are better for dress shopping, some better on advice and some are better for inspiration on decor and color.  When you go to the bookstore, which of these wedding magazines do you find inspiring when it comes to theme and decor?  If you select other, leave me a comment on which is your fave, even if it’s not a wedding magazine!

Some vendor friends of mine have teamed up and created a fabulous wedding package and donated it for auction for the Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon online auction.  This package, worth $9500, includes your rehearsal, ceremony and reception for 100 guests at the Bingham House in McKinney.  Among the vendors involved are Kate with RainFlorist Designs, providing all the floral needs, Sarah with Sweet Art Bakery providing the bride’s cake and cookie favors, and Jules with Jules Event Decor providing all the linens.  What more could a girl want?  Head on over to the auction now to get this steal of a package and donate some money for such a worthy cause.  The auction closes on September 4th.

One of the many blogs I read is from the owner and lead consultant of Blue Orchid Designs, Liene.  She has two that I read, but on one that gives advice to brides, I found a post that just says it all to me.  The bride was asking if she should hire someone local to her wedding location, or if she should import a reputable planner since the bride herself will be traveling to the destination of her wedding.  Among all the good advice, these three paragraphs struck me:

“A professional wedding planner will also know the dish on everything behind the scenes that you will not find online or from previous brides, so I am a huge proponent of hiring one even just for vendor recommendations (many will offer this service a la carte). With the exception of catering and cosmetology, the wedding industry is largely unregulated. Because of this, vendors run the gamut from being exceptional to well below sub-par. A good wedding consultant can help you find professional vendors who will mesh with your personality, steer you away from ones who will spend the entire wedding day hitting on your bridesmaids instead of doing their job, and give you the peace of mind that you are hiring people who won’t flake on you.

Day-of wedding coordination services entails quite a bit more than just showing up on your wedding day and keeping people on schedule, so the planner’s fee should take that into account. Pricing will vary depending on the market, but definitely keep your radar up for the difference between “a good value” and “too cheap”. Budget now for a good day-of coordinator and then set that money aside (I recommend putting it in an ING account so it is at least working for you during the next few months) so that you have it on hand when it comes time to hire your day-of coordinator and you aren’t tempted to spend it on a second pair of must-have dancing shoes.

Even if you are doing the bulk of the planning, having a professional there on your wedding day to tie up the loose ends means that you and your friends and family can relax and enjoy your day. Being relaxed definitely shows through in your photos and wedding video and makes them a million times better as well. Your guests will also take their cues from you, so if you are enjoying yourself and having fun, they will follow suit. Having a good planner with you on your wedding day is worth every penny. ”

These are all great points that any wedding professional knows, but is hard to articulate at times.  Thanks for saying what I felt Liene! 

Many times I’ve received a call from a bride who is looking for someone to help her with “day of”.  When I ask the bride what her major concerns are, often she is really just looking for someone to do the decorating that she has planned, so that she and her family can relax on the big day.  Because of this, I find more and more that brides often assume the role of a wedding planner is simply a decorator.  While this may be true for some, it is not true of all.  This is why I try to clarify exactly what a bride needs and what my role in helping her truly is.

 While I can certainly help add the embellishments that you’ve planned, such as setting out place cards, adding twinkle lights, and sprinkling rose petals, this is not my main function.  My main role is to help plan out all the details, coordinate with your vendors and to make sure everything comes off flawlessly the day of your wedding.  Many times, your vendors, such as florists or rental staff actually do most of the “decorating”, such as tying chair sashes or adding floral to the gazebo.  Every vendor is different, which is why I encourage brides to clarify with their vendors exactly what it is they are helping with on the big day. 

The flip side is to understand what responsiblities your vendors are not handling for you and why it is beneficial to have a wedding planner with you through the process and on the big day.  For example, will the decorating company you hired provide an accurate and to-scale floor plan?  I recently worked with a decorator who did provide a floor plan, but it was not an accurate representation of what would be set up that day.  This became a problem because on the big day, it became apparent that what the decorator thought was ample spacing between tables was not what we originally envisioned.  Now as a bride, you hire vendors that you trust to know their job, but unfortunately, there are vendors whose opinions vary and their vision may not be exactly what the bride wanted.  

 As your wedding planner, it’s my job to make sure all the vendors are on the same page as the bride, so to speak, and to get accurate representations of what they are delivering. This is why the earlier in the process you hire a wedding planner to represent you and begin working with the vendors, the easier it will be for the planner to make sure your wishes are carried out.  Unfortunately, my bride had only hired me for “day of” and I was unable to prevent this problem.  (Another reason why many wedding planners will not offer “day of” services, they get stuck with vendors not of their choosing and are stuck with the consequences.)  While I continue to offer my Classic services, I offer up this example to show why hiring a wedding planner for more than “day of decorating” is so key to the wedding planning process.

I had the pleasure of helping a fellow wedding planner this past weekend with one of her brides.  It was an amazing wedding she had been working on for a year and the family was just darling.  Mom was as sweet as could be and wanted everything to be perfect for her gorgeous daughter.  I was able to see the engagement and bridal portrait photos at the wedding and let me just say WOW!  The photographer did an amazing job and this beautiful girl will probably end up in a magazine!

I was supposed to just attend the rehearsal and then help with the wedding setup, during the wedding and reception, and help with strike.  However, there was so much last minute stuff to be done, I was called in on Friday afternoon to help.  This is why a wedding planner can be crucial.  While the bride greeted guests, hung out with family and friends, attended her rehearsal dinner, etc, we were hard at work finishing up all the last minute stuff.  Here’s a little peek at what all we accomplished:

• Sewed on detached or loose buttons to tuxedo shirts for the guys
• Returned tuxedos to the shop for adjustments to fitting
• Completed an introduction list for the band to read off
• Ordered programs, table cards, escort cards, signage and a few other misc items from a local printer who we delivered paper to and they delivered the finished products to our hotel afterwards (Yes, this was done on Friday)
• Corrected the table cards as some of them came back wrong (this took us over 4 hours, it was a little insane)
• Assembled programs, accepted deliveries from vendors such as photographs to be displayed and a viper convertible
• Got gas for the convertible and performed a test run (we needed to make sure there was turning clearance around the ballroom dance floor, what fun!)
• Placed photos in frames, along with table cards
• Corrected tables that were set out and a few minor setup details
• etc, etc, etc

All in all, I worked a solid 30 hours between Friday & Saturday.  I still say it was a pleasure because I love my job, but I would not wish that work on any bride or her mother.  So, if you are a bit of a last minute personality, please take this list as an idea of what you might be facing on your wedding day if you do not have someone to help.  That’s what we’re here for and I promise it’s worth every penny to be able to sleep at night and enjoy your family and friends during the day.

As I tend to work quite a few non-traditional weddings, I often get asked what can guys wear that’s a little different from the standard black tuxedo?  Well, first, there is no longer JUST the standard black tuxedo.  Most tux shops carry complete lines of black, pinstripe, white and even gray tuxedos.  Some of the cool new options though include a brown tuxedo, or even just tuxedo coats of navy to ivory and every color in between.  For a fun website that shows some of these options, check out www.aftersix.com.  They have some great lines of tuxedos, coats and suits that will fit any formal affiar, but have that twist of something different.

The biggest task in planning a wedding is usually finding your venue.  Not only is it the biggest item you’ll spend money on, it completely sets the tone and style for your wedding.  Thus, it takes lots of googling, viewing websites and pictures, emails and phone calls, and then takes up every weekend until you find the perfect one. 

The hardest part of this process seems to be the comparing.  Most want to just compare the venues offerings dollar-for-dollar.  Now, while I understand trying to compare venues to get a good deal, let me first say PLEASE don’t forget to recognize the special features and services each venue offers to you.  Of course price will play a role in the venues you choose, but try to remember that the venue’s worth is not just in the dollar amount you have to pay, but also how much it offers you to make your wedding vision come true.

When comparing pricing between venues, this usually means looking at what each will cost you per person.  (Not the minimum amount required, which is NOT the amount you will end up paying)  In other words, place A will cost you $X per person and place B will cost you $Y per person.  The problem is, place A and B are offering a package deal, so you have to compare what is in each of their packages.  This is where the apples and oranges come in.  Each package can be (and most likely will be) totally different.  One place may include the ceremony and reception spaces, valet parking, sound system, chairs, tables, linens, etc, and the other may not include half that stuff.  Why is it so hard you say?  Simply because venues are trying to offer you everything you want in their packages, not what you need, so that they can make the biggest bang for their buck.  They tell you it is to make it easier, which of course it is, but they don’t really give you any way to determine if their pricing is fair.  (This is of course where a wedding planner comes in very handy.)

If you’re stuck trying to juggle all of this and need to compare places based on price, the best way to handle it is to come up with what you want, not what the package offers.  For example, you want their ceremony space for a half hour, the reception space for 4 hours, no valet parking, bridal suite, champagne toast but no bar, butler passed canapes and the roast beef dinner.  Give this to the coordinator at each space and ask them to come up with a custom package for you based on this.  If you prefer to negotiate, take their package and see what items you can exchange to “customize” the package for yourself.  Do this with each venue coordinator, and you’ll get something much closer to comparing apples and apples.  This will help you narrow down what is the true price you are paying and what you really want for your wedding day.

What’s the difference between the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to DJs?  Here are some examples:

1.  They don’t have the equipment requested.  This past week I requested a lavalier microphone for the officiant to wear during the ceremony on Saturday.  This did not make it onto the DJ’s truck, thus the minister had to use a hand held mic for the ceremony.  Not convenient when he has a bible, rings and the couple’s hand to juggle while doing this.  Especially not good if he hasn’t practiced this and the vows keep getting cut off as he moves the mic from himself to the bride or groom to quickly.  Even worse, the officiant decided to put on his own comedy routine to entertain those guests remaining seated while waiting for the receiving line to go down.  We took the microphone away.  Some people just can’t handle their microphone. :)  A good DJ will bring the equipment you asked for.  A great DJ would have double checked to make sure your request was taken care of, had a backup or had someone bring him said equipment if he didn’t have it there.

 2.  The songs you requested are not being played.  Too often an unprofessional DJ does not have the genre or the specific songs you requested, but what’s worse is he doesn’t read your song list until 2 days before the wedding.  He then calls and tells you to burn a cd of this, which would have been fine 2 months ago when you had time, but now you only have 36 hours and between picking up tuxedos and family, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, etc, you don’t quite have the time to spend 2 hours doing this.   A good DJ will have checked the song list immediately upon receiving it and make sure he has on hand what you need.  A great DJ will either have the songs already, or will obtain them on their own (legally), with no questions, no extra fees and no hassle.

3.  He skips the details you worked into your agenda, like the blessing you asked Uncle Phil to give before serving dinner.  Even though this may be written down directly in front of the DJ, they skip it because it’s not their “usual” and they simply aren’t paying attention to the written instructions.  A good DJ will be checking the agenda all evening, making sure to not skip any of the personal details you added to the evening.  A great DJ would have double checked the agenda with you before hand, making sure to understand all the nuances of your agenda and even making suggestions on personal touches you can add to your evening.

When interviewing a DJ, ask how they keep their library current.  Ask what they’ll do if they do not have a song on your request list.  Look at their paperwork and see if it allows you to customize your evening by adding personal touches, or if it just allows you to number things in the order they are to happen.  Find out from their references if there were any “little” mistakes at their wedding, and look at them with a microscope.  While these are little mistakes, it might be something this DJ has a habit of doing and you do not want it repeated at your wedding.  All of these questions will reveal whether the DJ you are looking at is one of the good, bad or the very ugly.

And now the blog makeover.  What do you think folks?  Now that the blog looks like the rest of my website, is it better or worse? 

Thanks to everyone who competed in the contest.  The winners are:

1.  Shannon Cole with Happy Trails Carriage Service

2.  Ari Gray with Alternative Wedding Services

3.  Debi Sementelli with Lettering Art Studio

Thank you to the winners and everyone’s feedback on the site.  You all rock!  There are always a few adjustments left to be made, such as making the gallery a little faster and making the blog resemble the rest of the site, so keep an eye out for more changes.  And as always, stay tuned to the blog for more fun tidbits!